Wednesday 23 April 2008

A Secret , A Motivator And A FATSO








My height is only 163 cm and for the last 3 years my weight average from 75 kg - 80 kg. Quite a belly and overweight for a person with that kind of height ! But then I just couldn't bother ! To me the weight was not everything, Being a single father, I still had good relationship with many women, they never complaint or commented on my weight. They accepted me the way I was ! as long as my pocket is FAT of $$$$ !! and I can fully understand. Though a belly and considered short for a man, I am quite active, I sweat , did a light excercise daily but the weight at 75 kg is still maintained.


However, in early March 2008 recently, I knew a lady Shima from Kuantan through a SMS and she was the first women to comment on my weight. She said that I would look better If I can slim down and will assist me in few Yogas' technics that she learned and practised. Unfortunately, she was only available in Kuala Lumpur when meeting me once a week. But then, when we met , there was no time for yoga's at all !! instead, it was time for Kamasutra !!! But now, after one and half month, she didn't come down to Kuala Lumpur anymore as we had few misunderstanding, she was too demanding and rushing me to marry her and I decided to forget Shima, though I began to like her so much. To get married after just a month and half relationship , it's crazy !!! and not my style...!


Shima's comments had a long effects on my mind. I wanted to look better, younger and healthier and I started looking for ways to loose weight but I couldn't find one (I meant faster and cheaper one !) My son who is involved in MLM had given me an Ener-G Pendant, a product from ancient Korea's secret technology, made of 32 minerals with 100% of natural sources heated up at 1600 C followed by a slow cooling process. . It contained 2000 ion negative per cm3 and 80% FIR (Far infrared Ray) far much better ion contents than the bangles and other products existing today. The Ener-G Pendant's unique internal structure is able to gather, focus and emit energy to rebalance the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual aspects of our body. The main functions of ion negative is to clean up the blood, replaced dead cells, increased anti-body, and also increased otonomy veins. It has clinically proven to prevent stroke, gout, prostat cancer, high blood , diabetes and etc. After two weeks, I can feel the differrent. I am healthier ( I suffered from diabetes, gout and pain in my left kidney) and had a very good sleep every nights. My face looks fresh , clean , even brighter and younger. This is A secret of long live.... GOD willing !!


I was really serious of loosing my weight. My son again recommended me other liquid capsule- the most powerful fat-burning formula in a maximum - strength liquid capsule for superior absorption and unprecedented results. This formula had a quick impact, melted off the body fat, enhances muscles defination and brings out a lean midsection, while attacking those trouble areas i.e love handles, glutes, lower back and thighs. It is confirmed that this formula is clearly superior to any other fat burner currently available. Just after one week I lost 5 kg and is showing signs of loosing more. But mind you... it is not a cheap product by the roadside. If you can spend RM 500 on your car repairs, drinking in pubs, enjoying and clubing, ciggrettes, spending on unneccesary things, makeup and shopping and what not , I am sure you can afford this formula. If you are really serious of loosing weight with no side effects as confirmed by their panel doctors and if you are patience enough to wait for two week for delivery, then you are in the same shoes as mine!! It costs only RM 500.00 (240 capsules) inclusive of delivery to any parts of Malaysia and you will be a better person, slimmer and healthier. You may go to hundreds of slimming centres available, or buy other products, why not ? but do you have the time? or can you afford the unwritten and hidden charges ???



Many peoples said, you must have a motivator to do anything that you never did. I was the same person. I had never bothered of loosing my weight before, having diabetes, gout and being overweight was never a problem for me. Let it be !! But then if someone told you straight on your face and motivated you sincerely ? , you will feel something, and you will move faster. To me, you yourself, is the best motivator. Why should you depends on others. If you are overweight, especially ladies, believe me...then you will be the 2nd or maybe the last choice , some men will tell you it's alright for being fat... but ask them to take you out for a date ! .. there will be alot of reasons and excuses !!! For some fat and overweight men, it may be the sign of prosperity ?? as they claimed... But women are different ! sorry to say... you look ugly !



Frankly speaking, I am not selling the product nor had an interest in the company. They don't even know me, never ask me to be their paid spokeman and not even interested in my progress. But who cares... I just wanted to share my experience with you. If you're keen and wanted my advice (very seriously) then you could contact me. Otherwise, I am in progress of slimming down now and you will remain a FATSO !!! forever.... What a pity....!


Sometimes, you may think being a "fatso" is not a problem at all. But look around you, in the office, in shopping complexes, pubs, coffeehouse, restaurants etc, how many "fatso" are there? sometimes you are the only one and people started looking at you?? Not because you are that attractive, but because you looks different from others " a baby elephant- Jumbo" looks a like, you feels embaraced, being teased, but then what have you done to yourself ??? If you believe in me... give me a tinkles and I am sure, soon... someone else will give you a tickles when you are a better looking person...!!! So FATSO listen to me and act now!!



So, how much do I have to spend to be slimmer and beautiful ? Can I afford it? Am sure "if there is a will there is a way." If you don't have enough money now, just sell off your expensive telephone, after all no one will call you if you remain a "fatso" or you may start saving from now on. "Better late than never" ! But then, the longer you wait... I will be much slimmer and you will add more fats to your body !!



The total investment for your future beautiful body is only RM1, 000.00 (RM500.00 for the Ener -G Pendant + RM500.00 for 2 bottles of the capsules) inclusive of delivery and will reach you within 2 weeks upon order. Meanwhile, look at http://www.teamfifi.com/ or http://www.e-rafa.com/ for the information of the Ener-G Pendant and this blog which we can communicate quickly !!



My secret telephone numbers : 012 - 945 5000 or 016 - 290 3113 just call me, Zeq will reveal the secrets and be a motivator for a Fatso !!!



"Being Fat is beautiful and acceptable but being slimmer is more beautiful and sexy." It is your own choice and destinations....



Don't ask me..!!!



Tuesday 22 April 2008

S A R A H (Sales Agent Resorts And Hotels)

Introduction

The Government efforts to promote tourism in Malaysia has benefited most hotels and resorts especially established and chained hotels & resorts who has sales and marketing representation office worldwide or has participated in tourism Malaysia's Travel Marts and programmes held domestic or overseas. The individually owned hotels & resorts who has limited budget on promotions will only depend on their own sales personel to do sales and promotions with limited team and time or will just depend on a walk in customers to come to their hotels & resorts. These hotels & resorts never enjoy good occupancy as other established hotels and resorts who has effective networking in most parts of the world.


In view of great demand of market segments not fully tapped, SARAH was set up to assist these individual hotels & resorts owners who has no budget to set their own sales & marketing offices in major towns or cities such as Kuala Lumpur, Klang Valley, Putrajaya or Ipoh where bulk of business will come from these areas. SARAH sales & marketing activities is concentrated on these areas and will be on other targetted market segments when the need arises.


SARAH with over 30 years experience in the hospitality industry mainly management of hotels & resorts, sales & marketing of domestic and international market will provide you with sales assistance to boost up the hotels and resorts occupancy.


Our Mission

1. To be the best and established sales & marketing agent of hotels & resorts in Malaysia and worldwide in years to come
2. To develop a successful business partnership with most hotels & resorts
3. To develop a joint website for participating hotels & resorts known to every organisations and individual particularly in Malaysia and worldwide in general
4. To encourage our card members to travel to participating hotels & resorts
5. To produce multimedia and corporate videos of participating hotels and resorts
6. To represent hotels and resorts in Malaysia, South East Asia, Asia and rest of the Worlds

Our Team

DatOK ZeQ

Mr Mohd Zaki @DatOK ZeQ started his career in hotel in 1972, from a humble start he has risen up to the positions of Resident Manager having worked in hotels and resorts in Kuala Lumpur, Kuantan, Cerating, Trengganu, Johore, Penang, Langkawi and Alor Setar. He set up his own hotels and resorts management company and managed three budget resorts in Kuantan, Pahang. However his five years management contracts expired recently as the owners wanted to manage the resorts themselves.

His main forte in Sales & Marketing, Food & beverage and Front Office made him a complete hotelier. He was educated in Institute Tecnology MARA and Institute of Tourism And Hotel Management, Salzburg, Austria. He has travelled almost part part of the world, America, Europe, Australia and ASEAN countries attended most of trade shows such as PATA Mart Vienna, Austria, WTM London, ITB Berlin, IT &ME Chicago, BIT Milan, BTF Brussels, Belgium, NATAS Singapore, MATTA Malaysia and has a long list of other trade shows during his 34 years career in hotels and resorts that will be an added benefit to participating hotels and resorts.

Mohd Adli Effendy bin Mohd Zaki

Mr Mohd Adli completed his education at University Tun Abdul Razak (UNITAR) majoring in Multimedia Development. He worked as producer for TV3 before he set up his own business in network marketing , Charity and Events management company. His experience as journalist, producer and sales and marketing made him a well known figure amongst his business associates in networking marketing and a general organisations.
He managed SARAH on day to day operations through multimedia & corporate videos directing and general aspects of the company.

Our services

1. Sales and marketing assistance for hotels and resorts
2. Organised events, emcee and host for functions
3. Promotions and attending trade shows and exibitions
4. Mailing list for hotels and resorts to selective organisations
5. Multimedia and corporate videos productions
6. Membership travellers' cards for organisations and individuals
7. Management and consultant of hotels and resorts
8. Arranged appointments and acompnying sales personnel in making sales calls

Sales & Marketing Assistance rates

50 rooms and below - RM 1,000 per month
100 rooms and below - RM 1,500 per month
150 rooms and below - RM 2,000 per month
200 rooms and below - RM 2,500 per month
250 rooms and below - RM 3,000 per month
300 rooms and below - RM 3,500 per month

Fees is to be made before the 3rd of each month
1st payment is to be made upon signing of the contract agreement for a minimum of one (1) year

Joint SARAH website Rate - www.sarah.com.my
RM 1,000 per annum excluding art work. Fees is to be made in full in advance

Joint Brochure and Flyers Contributions
RM 500.00 for 1,000 pieces included art work. Fees is to be made in full in advance

Membership Travellers's Cards
RM 100.00 per card per annum. A special discounted rate of minimum 30% off tariff rate is required from participating hotels and resorts

Emcee And Host
From RM3,000 per function

Organised Events And Functions
Tailor made to the budget

Multimedia And Corporate Video productions
From RM5,000 onward. A " Jom Cuti Cuti" holiday programme with a popular artiste is in progress

Mailing List
RM 0.50 cents per name (minimum of 1,000 names) is required

Accompanying Sales Calls
RM 50.00 per day with transportation provided in Kuala Lumpur, Klang Valley only , excluding petrol and toll charges.
RM 80.00 per day with transportation provided to Putrajaya, excluding petrol and toll charges
Appointment will be made in advance for a minimum of 05 calls per day to selective segments and govenment department.

Entertainment of clients will be at hotels and resorts own expenses
Fees is to be made in advance on number of days of planned sales calls.


For Futher details and informations, Please call me Zeq at
012 -945 5000 / 016-290 3113 or fax : 03-7880 1405 or E-mail us. You can also visit http://www.orangemediaads.com.my/

Thursday 17 April 2008

Sex Maniacs ?






























1. On day in Iraq, a dying American soldier in one of the Iraqi's hospitals had a request before he died. An Iraqi nurse attended to his request.


Soldier : My only last wish, before I die, is to kiss the Flag of America



Nurse : There's no America's flag here, but if you really insisted you can kiss America's tatoo flag at my buttock as I hate America, and she went closed to the soldier, lifted her skirt, lowered her panties and let the soldier kissed the America tatto's flag on her buttock



Soldier : Thank you very much... you are so considerate. Now please turn around !


Nurse : Why ???!!!


Soldier : I want to kiss the "BUSH" too !!




2. A soldier was left alone at a dessert with his camel for few weeks and one day he felt horny and wanted sex. As there was no one at that time he was trying to have sex with his female camel and started to pull her down but the camel resisted. He tried so many times but was unsuccessful. Suddendly, he saw a woman approaching and he was so happy and ran to the woman.



Soldier : Thank you, thank you... you make my day, I have been waiting for this moment for weeks


Woman : Waiting for what ?? Can I help you ?


Soldier : Please... please... he hold the woman's hand, I wanted to have sex.... Help me to bring down THE CAMEL


Women : A real sex maniacs !!!???.



3. A guy from Malaysia was travelling in Australia and one day his jeep broke down. He walked for couples of km and met a kind hearted Aussie who invited him to stay overnight as the workshop was quite far away. He has a daughter and insisted the guy to sleep with his daughter, as he didn't mind. However, at middle of the night the Aussie heard the guy shouted for help, he rushed up and asked his daughter of what happenned.


Aussie : What had happenned?


Daughter : This guy slept by my side, suddendly I saw something moving underneath his sarong. So I asked him, nicely. He said it was just a bird from Malaysia. I played with the bird, It spitted on my hand . I was so angry, pulled up his sarong, grapped his bird, I squeezed its head, broke the eggs and I burnt the nest !!








Tuesday 15 April 2008

Hang Tuah VS Samurai














1. One day , two friends were talking at a Kopi Tiam :


Friend 1 : I am a better man now as I have stopped gambling and drinking!


Friend 2 : I don't believe you at all....


Friend 1 : wanna BET? or just buy me jug of BEER ?


Friend 2 : ???!!!



2. Another two friends were walking and about to step on a chocolate looks a like, a brownish in colour at one roadside.

Friend 1 : Ooop... That's a chocolate or shits ?


Friend 2 : I don't know.. let us pick it up and taste it


They tested it... and it was confirmed a human shits


Friend 1 & 2 : It's someone shits ! ... Wo.. wo...so lucky we didn't step on it !!!




3. A Samurai heard about Hang Tuah's bravery and came to Melaka to challenge him. They had fights for 8 days/7 nights and both were equally strong with their own experties , fighting technics and usage of weapons. Finally, the King called both of them for the final event.


The king said, there are two flies and I wanted both of you to show me your expertise. Without delay, the Samurai lashed out his sword fast as lightning and cut a fly into 4 small pieces and smiled proudly at Hang Tuah. Hang Tuah was cooled, took out his kris slowly and stabbed another fly. The fly, however continued flying around and was heading to the palace's wooden pillars, knocked his head few times and fell down.


Samurai : What's the pppbbblem??? (What's the problem?)


Hang Tuah : I cut his private part !!! he was so frustrated and committed suicide !


Samurai : Plybate partooh ??? oooh Waka ranai yooo (I don't know ohh) how did you do that??


Hang Tuah : Well.... You know me !!!


The King declared Hang Tuah as the winner . The Samurai accepted the loss and never returned

Jaguar VS Helicopter








1. One day, a secretary was called to the office by her boss. She rushed in and saw his boss pant's zip was opened. As she felt embarrassed, she rushed back to her table and took the phone and called her boss:

Secretary : Sorry boss, I couldn't come in just now as I saw your "garrage" was opened

Boss : Garrage? Come on... I personally closed it this morning

Secretary : No...no... not garrage...I meant your pant's zip, boss !

Boss : Oh.... then your saw my big Jaguar, eh ?? the boss joked

Secretary : No Jaguar boss... but I only saw your old morris minor with two flat tyres...!!

Boss : !!!??? Oh... that's my lady....




2. An old man had the opportunity to fly in a helicopter, but suddenly the aircondition was out.

Pilot : Sorry uncle, it is going to be warm later as the aircondition was out of order

Old Man : I am OK, I am used to fans at home, but I just couldn't understand

Pilot : Understand what uncle ?

Old Man : You see.. they claimed to be smart, building a helicopter but why they put the BIG FANS on top of the helicopter , it would be much cooler if they put it inside!!!

Pilot : ???!!!

Me & My Family - At A Glance !

I was born on Saturday, June 07, 1954 as stated in my ID but my late parents told me that I was born a year earlier in June 13, 1953. It was the trend at that time (may be at my village) to register their children one or two years after birth so that when the children go to school they will be a bit older, 8 or 9 years old and smarter. I just couldn't bother, I may be 55 years now but the look is more important... People told me that I look 45 ! (sure I believe them) after all age are just numbers ! Remember this....The older you are, the harder the horns !!!

As I can recalled, my late father came from a very religious family. He, however was quite an open minded man, but very strict. He married my late mother when she was 17 years old, He was 35, and it was his 2nd marriage after he divorced his 1st wife for not cooking his lunch !! My late mother being 2nd last in the family was staying with her 3rd sister who married quite a well-known family and quite rich, who owned few acres of coconut lands and padi fields. I was never been told how they first met and get married as my parents were very secretive and never want to talk about it with their children, a very old fashioned but acceptable at that time . Children should't mix with elders or never listen when elders are having talks or discussions. I have to keep away !


The first year of their marriage, my late parents were staying together in my mother's sister house but later they moved out to rent a house about 5 kilometer away . My father was quite an educated man who studied until secondary school, but stopped during Japanese occupation.He had an offer to be a "Sidang" an assistant to "Penghulu" (Village Head Man) but my late grandfather didn't allow him to move to other places. So being an obedient son he stayed at the village Bagan Nira, Sabak Bernam, Selangor. He started his small business, "Salai" a smoked house, buying all coconut at the village and turned them into dry and smoked coconut and sold them back to wholesaller to turn them to coconut oil. He had the business for few years until his smoked house was caught on fire and he stopped. With some savings, he built a small wooden house to call his own. We moved to the new house at that time half completed, no electricity, no pipe water and only pelita (karosene lamp) a small multi-purposes man made well to depend on.

My late father was jobless and only depended on odds jobs to support us. By then I have 2 brothers and a sister. It was quite tough for him, my late mother helped by selling pulut udang at a mamak restaurant, and during the padi harvesting seasons, she went to crop padi at her mother's house only using her hand with a "tuai" a small knife with a small wooden handdle. There was no other mechine at that time. With that extra income they managed the family but it was still a very tough one. Most of the times my late parents quarrelled because of the heavy loads. At young age, we were unable to help.


I only remembered clearly, when I was first sent to a Malay school. My late father will send me on his bicycle. I was sitting on the rod near the handle. As the journey will take 20 minutes, I used to feel numb on my buttock and my late father had to put a batek sarong to act like a cushion to comfort me. I was an intelligent boy. I used to get 1st or 2nd in class and my parents were very proud of me. My results continued to be excellent until I was in standard 6. At that time I had a bicycle of my own and cycled to school with my 2nd brother. To help the burden, I started selling ice cream with the bicycle in the evening and weekends. With the profit 3 -4 ringgit a day, I gave it to my late mother . During months of Ramadhan, my brother and I will sell ice cubes or ice blocks to the villagers as none of us at the village owned a fridge. With that small profit, we saved and managed to buy clothings for Hari Raya.


Being religious, my late father just sent me to a Malay school (English are Christians) until one day he realised that English school will be a better place for me, furthermore my school results was always excellent. He decided to send me to a remove class (from a Malay medium school to an English Medium school) for a year.I was given a monthly scholarship from State and Federal Government at RM15.00 and RM20.00 respectively. I started learning English in the new class then. I managed to catch up well and still no 1st or 2nd in class. A year later I was admitted to form one in an English medium school. All the other students were from Primary English medium school who had a better full English classes , written and spoken English for six years. As I had full English class only for a year, I was left behind. The 1st term I was no 26 in class and later improved to no 15 and the third term I was no 9 out of 35 students. It was quite an achievement.


My 1st cousin Ali , son of my late mother's sister who was quite rich was sent to Klang High School from form 1 and when he came back he will talk alot about his school. I was attracted but how can I afford? I spoke to my late father of my intention. He was very supportive and promised to send me eventhough If he cannot buy or change his sarong again !!! (At that time , my father wore only sarong everywhere he goes) and I didn't know how he managed to look for the money. My father arranged for the transfer and sent me to Klang High School by bus. I remembered we had to take a ferry at Kuala Selangor to Klang and I had a mixed feelings as it was the first time that I will be staying away from my parents, brothers and sister. I was very happy and at the same time very sad.


I was placed in a hostel, 1st time ever. I was lucky I had a cousin Ali there, otherwise the "ragging' wil be worst. I was introduced to hostel's mates and hostel's leader and what he did was to ask me to wash his dirty linen, and polished his cadet's shoes. Not that bad compared to others who had to do alot of "stupid" things. I had to adjust to a different life altogether. I have to do my bed, own washing, ironing etc. Food was provided but I didn't fancy hostel food. I was lucky I made good relationship with the cook, Pak Unggal as everybody called him and I always had a better kind of meals everyday !!


Hostel life was always full of memories. It was a cultural shock for me !! As youngster and first time away from parents and without proper guidance from my parents, I ended mixing up with few friends who didn't really keen on their studies. I followed them to" slip out " at night to Klang town, went to "dark bars," smoking etc. I didn't drink but coca cola was RM1.50 per glass and I have to buy one for the hostess. How can I afford ? My late father didn't know, How difficult was he, he had to send me money out of his sweat just to cover my expenses as I lied to him !! I told my late father that I needed money for school materials !! I was caught twice for slipping out and the warden a Singh "awarded" me with a public canning in the hostel !! Well, during the school holidays I came home to my family and my father will cut a chicken and my moher will cook special food for us and the villagers sometimes came to see me as I am the first boy from the village to study away from the village.

Time went by and I had to sit for my LCE (Lower Certificate Of Education) examinaion. I studied quite hard but a bit too late as I enjoyed almost every week. I just passed and admitted to form 4 Arts. My parents were happy as long as I passed and proudly told me that I could become a lawyer in Arts stream. I never had a proper ambition, sometimes I wondered why I never thought it was an important thing to have an ambition. But doing own business was always on my mine.. What will be will be !!!???

Almost everybody in class said form four is a honeymoon year, so did I. I never study after school, sometimes I didn't complete homeworks given. I felt quite lost and just waiting for the night to come. I was addicted to go to "dark bars" with "beautiful ladies" under the dark colourful lights (when I met them at the toilet, these ladies.... an ugly ladies with thick makeup). And still I like the place , maybe I could touch them, hold them.... etc etc At that age, I was not able to differenciate between the "Beauty and The Beast" . I was so "sexited"...!!!

It was time to sit for my MCE (Malaysian Certificate Of Education) and I tried to catch up. I studied but not good enough. Few of the students in the hostel were on "pep pills" to prevent one from sleepy. I tried too as the time was so close. I can stay all night long.. but during the examination I was blurred. I forget what I had read. Then when the result was announced , as expected, I had a 4 grade - failed , I could re sit but I decided not to because I wanted to work.

I went back home to my village. As I have a lot of times, not decided what to do I was offered a temporary teacher in an Islamic School teaching Bahasa Malaysia and English with a monthly allowance of RM50.00 and I accepted it. During weekends, I used to work as grass cutter at someone's land just to earn extra income for me and my family.

About six months after that my cousin Ali , told me that MARA had a course for LCE holders in Hotel & Restaurants Management and he helped me to register and I managed to study again, though it was a short course but it gave me a long new life.... to be a hotelier !!!

Sunday 13 April 2008

Big Chief























1. A Red Indian chief was having stomach problems as he couldn't go to the toilet for few days and asked one of his warriors to go to a clinic to get medecine. The warrior met the doctor and being not so fluent in English , he just had a brief conversation.

Warrior : Dr...Dr.... Big Chief , No shits !


Doctor : Ok.. no problem. give these medecines to your chief, take 2 tablets a day and his stomach will be alright !


The warrior rode back and gave the medecine to the chief without telling him anything. The Chief took all the medecine at one time , and started running to the toilet and never returned. The warrior went to look at the toilet , the chief died and he quickly rushed back to the clinic.


Doctor : What happened ???


Warrior : Dr...Dr... BIG SHITS ....... NO CHIEF !!!


Doctor : ???!!!



2. A cowboy was riding up the hill one day and saw a red Indian Big Chief sitting down under a tree with his horse right infront of him.


Cowboy : Sorry chief, do you know what's the time now?


The chief lifted up his horse's "balls "and said 3 o'clock !!

Cowboy : Thank you chief !! and rode up but wondered how did the chief knew the time by just lifting his horse's "balls."


On his way back an hour later, he met the chief again and asked the time .


Cowboy : Do you still know the time now?


The chief lifted his horse's "balls " again and said almost 4 o'clock . Then the cowboy asked the chief how did he manage to know the time by just lifting up his horse's "balls. "


The chief replied... My horse's "balls" are blocking my views to the tower clock at the town below, so when I lift them up I can see the clock clearly.


The cowboy looked down the hill and saw the big tower clock and rode home, confused !!!

Friday 11 April 2008

The Politician , The Heaven And Luxury Car






























1. At one of the political rallies at a village recently, one of the MPs told the people attending the rally.
MP : If you vote for me and I win, I promise you that I will build the longest bridge in this village.

Villagers : But YB we don't have a river or sea here


MP : Never mind, I will build that sea and river after that !!!




2. In one of the classes, the teacher asked the students.

Teacher : Who wants to go to Heaven today?


All the students put up their hands


Teacher : Who wants to die today ?


Nobody puts up their hands.


Teacher : Then, sorry it will take you at least another 50 years to go the heaven. If you are lucky you may go earlier !!!


Students : ???!!!



3. A guy just got rich and bought new luxury car and employed a driver. While driving at the middle of the road with heavy traffics, the driver changed to 2nd gear and made a little sounds....


Guy : What was the sound Muthu?


Muthu : I changed the gear boss

Guy : What the hell are you doing, I saw you just sittng down comfortably in the office, doing nothing. You should change the gears while waiting for me, Not at the middle of the road !!!

Muthu : ???!!!

Old Man, A Scientist And A Student

















1. An old man was caught stealing. At the police station, he was asked by the police :

Police : You are caught stealing, according to Hudud Law, I will cut your hands

Old man : Then I cannot eat properly

Police : I will cut your legs ?

Old man : Then, I cannot walk properly

Police : Or better I cut your ears instead ?

Old man : Then, I cannot SEE properly

Police : Why you cannot see????

Old man : Because ... I cannot hang my spectacles lah !!!



2. A scientist was doing an experiment with a cockroache, and found out the following :

He cut one of the legs.. and asked the cockroach to walk... the cockroach walked.

He cut two legs .... the coackroach still can walk

He cut three legs .... the cockroach managed to walk but very slow

He cut four legs... and asked the cockroach to walk few times but the cockroach didn't walk at all

So , he made the conclusion, if someone cuts all the four legs of a cockroach, it became DEAF !!



3. A young boy didn't go to school one day and called his teacher.

Boy : Hello, Adli cannot go to school today because he is having fever

Teacher : OK but .... Whom am I speaking to ?

Boy : My father speaking !!!

Can It Happen?

During my years in the hospitality industry, I met and mixed with all class of people, Dignitries, VVIP, VIP, Rich & Famous, Not Rich but Famous, Not Famous But Rich, The Poor, Businessmen, Conmen, etc etc. and I found it very special to have the opportunity to meet and mix with them, or at least smiled and shook their hands or even a pat at my shoulders. Most of them are educated and fully respected and I learnt alot from them. They were just like a lecturer to me with new ideas and subjects that I never heard of. At that time I had only my MCE to be proud of. Luckily, I had the opportunity to study at the Institute Of Tourism and Hotel Management, Schloss Klessheim, Salzburg Austria. But then, I left them and didn't build up the relationship because as a hotelier I moved to other places when the job offers get better. I didn't realised how important is to maintain relationships . I have improved alots in my knowledge, anybody can talk any subjects with me and most people were impressed.

But then, I like a simple life, a simple friends. I could became a rich person before but I never asked for any favour or help. I wanted to stand on my own feet. A butler at one of the hotels was given quite a sum of money by a generous Sultan to start a business (As told by trade industry friends) . But I never had the chance ! the most tips I get was RM100 from a businessman and I was very happy. But mixing with those simple friends sometimes can cause problems. Most of my friends that I had now still the way they were eventhough I knew them 10 - 20 years ago. There was no improvement in their lives. The mentality is still the same. The subjects spoken are still the same, either on women or kedai kopi talk. I cannot listen to those kind of subjects anymore. I am interested in business talks. I am not being proud but at least I had a resort business before. I owned 2 luxury cars , stayed in a nice house fully furnished with airconditions in all rooms. I had a good life standing on my feet but lady luck didn't stay long. I blamed myself for trusting other people and I collapsed. They nearly put the final nail to my coffin !! But I realised quickly and go on with new life, though it was very tough to get up. I may be down, but not out yet !

When I returned to KL as I was staying in Kuantan before, most friends that I knew couldn't help me. Sometimes I have to beg for help but you cannot blame them for not helping. Why should they help me? I can give them 100 reasons but will they believe me? Firstly, I was not in full contact with them, I kept away from them. I went to look for them trying for help, but they looked at me as stranger and given excuses for not helping. Can anyone blame them?

Now, I have to adapt to a very simple life. Rented a room, instead of a house. An old friend offered me a job but not willing to pay as it should. With my experience and education he could have paid me much more, but then " Beggers cannot be choosy". So I worked and I couldn't give him a 100% committment. " You gave me peanuts, I acted like monkeys". Ofcourse he was not happy and I have to leave the company, with no regrets !

Should I mixed with the educated friends before, it would be a different story. Most of them are Dato now . Some even had 12 luxury cars at home. Me ? I have to depend on my son's car to move around looking for other opportunities to survive. So this is life all about." When you climb up a ladder, make sure you stop and talk to the people you met along the ways, because when you fall, you are going to meet those people again." I didn't practice that !!!

Life must go on... how difficult I am now, I always looked at other unfortunate people. I still didn't have to go to dustbin to collect empty cans or empty boxes, begging on the street or foodcourts. MY SPIRITS ARE STILL VERY HIGH, ONLY THE BODY CANNOT TAKE IT !! With limited income by doing odds jobs and from some generous friends, my close cousin Ali, my brothers and a son who contributed few ringgits, I managed to survive until now. I have no savings at all. Most of my money are gone. I am jobless for 3 years and spent whatever little saving that I had. However, I managed to invest some money before in a Trust Fund from my KWSP accounts and also my savings with KWSP and will only be available when I am 55 years. Well, it's quite a long way to look forward. Meanwhile, how do I live???

I am still searching for a decent job in Jobstreet. com, newspapers, old friends are the sources, but until now I am helpless. At this age, I understand many companies didn't want to employ me. But I never tried to become a security guard, or work at petrol station etc. Well, I still had a high ego in myself, I just didn't want to undergrade myself, that's the biggest problems. I feel those jobs are not suitable for me as an ex hotelier and a businessman, furhermore they already had Bangladesh, Nepal and Indonesian workers. They deserved the jobs with their qualifications and I just didn't want to take it away from them. What's wrong?? At least there some money to spent on food and I don't have to depend on other peoples. Well.. it will be easy for other people to say that !! How about you people? Will you work at those places ?? (If you have the kind of experience and education like mine)

Anyway, Believe me or not, I shall return... to be the someone like before or even better as I deserved ! Lady luck will come to me sooner or later !!!!

Thursday 10 April 2008

New SMS Love ??

Last few days, I received few missed call again ! Looking at the numbers, I knew they were from Klang Valleys and East Coast. I just couldn't bother. I have many friends everywhere, and few business friends in Kuantan, Trengganu and Kelantan and if they really had important things to say, they must keep calling me., why miss calls. Did they think I have free prepaid from Telco companies? I have to top up the same ways.. Furthermore, I am not the way I was where I can top up at least RM50.00 a day. Now? maximum RM30.00 but usually RM10.00 is most affordable


One day, I looked back at few missed calls numbers. I tried to call few numbers, one lady who wanted to promote Astro, one from Unit Trust company and but when I call the one from the East Coast. " Hello... this is zeq, who's that, you called me last few days ? Oh.. Lia lah ! who's is Lia I asked. Do I know you? I still had few girls friends in Kuantan because I was doing a Resort business there. " Lia from Dungun la !! she replied. Dungun UiTM ? I just guessed because I knew someone there . No lah she said. I didn't know you lah, but justI played with my phone, boring la" she said. I was thinking, she must be like most ladies who just "tembak"missed calls to everyone and when she feels right, she will ask for top up . I had few cases like that !!!

We had quite long chat. Actually she worked at one of the francias fast food restaurant in Dungun, Trengganu. So during her break hours, she just press any numbers for fun of it. She sounded quite elderly and I thought she might suit me and I agreed to be her friend. Since then, she always missed called me and I returned her calls. I am quite happy to have someone to talk to. She sent SMS every hour and we communicated nicely until late night. In her SMS she told me that she's happy to have a friend to talk to, understand her and asked me alot of questions ... my age, my job, family etc. I told her "somethings" about me and she said I am an honest man ( sure ! , I didn't tell her ALL)

Immediately, I told her to MMS her photo. She told me that she can't afford a camera handphone. She's poor and income just enough to support her. To buy top up, she has to budget it . There you are... I knew it she's given me a clue and wanted "something" from me. I tested her and told her that I will buy a top up and a camera handphone as present. She said that I am crazy if I buy her that present but RM10 top up is good enough for her so that she can communicate to me regularly. She claimed that she had never taken anything from anybody, especially strangers ! Oh.. oh She's the kind of lady that I like.

Later, a SMS came, a new number with MMS message. I opened it and saw her photo through her friend's handphone. She looked alright to me and I was guessing that she could be between 25 to 28 years old. Then she asked me to send my photo. No no.. I will not because I just didn't want her to keep my photo, furthermore I didn't want her to see an old man he..he.. She insisted and I told her, If she really wants to see me, come down to KL and she can see me LIVE.

After 2 days, she called me and told me that she had to relief a staff at one of the outlets at Kuala Trengganu and will have a 2 days off. She planned to come down to KL. I thought it was only a joke but when she told me that she already bought a ticket at 10 am the next day, I didn't believe myself !! She finished work at 11.30 pm and started to sms me. In one of her messages, she hoped that I will wait for her at Putra Bus Station as her bus will be ariving around 6 pm. I had a mixed feelings, as whether she is telling the truth or just playing around. She told me that she really wanted to meet me ! From 10 am to about 5.30 pm she sent so many sms to make sure that I will be waiting for her arrival. So I took the chance and waited at the bus stop infront of The Mall as requested and told her my son's car number to make it easier for her to recognise me.

At 6.20 pm, I saw someone approached my car and I knew it... it was HER Lia !!! I was stunned as she didn't look like the one in the photo. When she opened the door, she passed me her small luggage and shook my hand ! I am Liana... Oh ! I am Zeq ! I told her she looked different, much more younger, and she said that she's only 19 !!!! and will be 20 in November 16, 2008. Just immagine, I am in my 50's!!! She 's not photogenic, as she looked much older in the photo.

We had chats in the car, subjects related to her family, her work, how her ex boyfriend treated her badly etc and I told her mine, and I confessed that I may be older than her father because earlier she mentioned that her father is 51 and mother is 49. I was not really bothered as my 2nd marriage was to a 18 years girl !! I am used to mixing with young girls, and I can handle them well, that's my special talents. She has a big family, 5 sisters and 5 brothers and she is the 5th. Her father is an Indonesian and mother is Malaysian. They met when her father was a logger and her mother used to be a cook for "kongsi house" 30 years ago. Her father is now a permanant resident and never had a chance to be a citizen of Malaysia. As she had a big family, I felt that she needed someone to fully loved and pampered her. She's might been neclected by her family that's why she needed someone and she said the that elder person will be better for her !! And it suits me well !!!

I drove her round for a while trying to make her more comfortable. I just didn't want to rush. Anyway during the conversations, I hinted that I will take her to my rented house, and she agreed with no other questions asked. But then, I just moved to my son's rented house for a week and I know it's not wiseable to take her there, furthermore there's another 3 of my son's friends staying together. I stopped at one of mamak's shop to have a drink but she didn't want to and told me it's better to drink at home and chats which will be more relaxed, I agreed. With limited fund in the pocket, I felt it's better for me to put her in the budget hotel overnight... more privacy ! I suggested and she also agreed. So we checked in, had a long chats and.......and ...... ended up a memorable night !!.

The next day, I took her to Putra Station to look for her ticket home. We managed to get one from a black market as all the tickets to Dungun were sold out. Then we drove round KL. She wanted to see MidValley and Bukit Bintang areas. When in MidValley , I was very uncomfortable because I didn't have much cash in the pocket. It will be very embaracing if she wanted something and I can't afford it. But this girl is a very special one.. she never opened up her mouth or asked for anything except for a CD of a malay movie but we just couldn't find any CDs' shops there. We just had a window shopping, Thanks.. Liana !

At 9 pm, I have to send her to Putra Station as the bus will be leaving at 10 pm. While waiting for the bus, We had drinks at The Mall and she felt sad to leave. She's really in "love" with me eventhough we just met and she didn't bother whether the parents and family will accept me or not. I was even confused.. she is too young for me (my eldest son is 27) but deep in my heart I will be happy If we could go on until fate decided otherwise. I really didn't mind marrying her . after all I am still a single father !

And at 10 pm, she boarded the bus heading home with tears in her eyes !! It is again a SMS love at first sight for me ! And I may be the next King of SMS (So Many Spare) girlfriends !!! But.... From today onwards, Liana will be the only one in my heart fovever ! and You better believe it !!!


Wednesday 9 April 2008

Missing Children


















Now a days, there are so many cases and news of missing children. I wonder, why such cases happenned. Who should we blame? The parents? The abductors ?, The kidnappers?, The authorities ?,The police ? or least the children? No one can give the correct answers except pointing and blamming each others. Malaysians are very responsible citizen, when things happenned, then they will start something - posters everywhere, main news on TVs, big campaigns, SMS etc etc but then its too late... One day I received SMS which says :

" A girl aged 7 years old, black curly hairs, thin, wearing red skirt, with big slippers ! missing at her home of Taman Melati, around 4 pm. Anyone who finds her, please contact the mother urgently at her house or contact her telephone's numbers - because THE MOTHER IS LOOKING FOR HER SLIPPERS !!!

Am I A Foreigner












One day my Indian friend , Sivabalan went to London for a holiday with his wife and returned to KL after 1 week. At the airport he asked his wife :

Husband : Do I look like a foreigner?

Wife : No, why ?

Husband : I don't know, when we were in London, a lady asked me "Are you a foreigner?" that's why ..

Wife : pooodahh ??

Women, Women.







As a Geminian, I have no problem having girlfriends from my younger days until now. At this age (why u want to know??) I am still enjoying a number of girlfriends. Sometimes, I wonder why these women are so interested on me. I am not that handsome, 163 cm tall, with 175 lbs quite a belly. I am not rich as before, no car to drive except my son's. Recently, a lady from Kuantan missed called me. I returned the call only after 3 days. I was suprised, she claimed to know me and my ex girlfriend (now engaged with someone else) and offered herself to be my new girlfriend. So that's the beginning. I just didn't want to contact her for a week but one day she missed call me again. Hey, what the heck ! I called her and started to talk. I told her if she's really insterested, come down to KL. You know what ? she came the next day ! Wow..this lady Shima is really not a bad looking !! She's a divorcee with 2 sons . What happened when she's in KL? You people can just immagine.... as of now she's been meeting me in KL for the 4th time!!!!

Now after almost 2 months, we are still in contact, SMS on every minutes. We were in love?? No ways.... you may say that but to me it's still early as I think easy come will easy go? I just layan her lah !! I am not cruel or trying to take advantage over ladies but that's me. I was deeply hurt when I divorced my wives. I am not flirting around but the women just came and gone. I told myself that I wanted to stop myself having involved with any women.. Yes I did... but they themselves didn't want to stop !!! And I cannot resist, when they insisted.. !! Anyway, the more friends we have , the better it will be ! You must have an honest relationship!

Actually, after my two broken marriages, I feel comfortable being alone but sometimes I missed married life. Almost all my friends had "a happy family"???? I presumed. Hey I know lah what's marriage life is all about... You don't have to lie ! When you wanted come back late, your wife will call you and giving reasons for you to come back early. She wanted you to "tapau" something la, your children needed you la, pipes bursted la, she forget to buy something la and goes on... If you still come back late? You will have to explain to her for the next couple of days... In the morning, I can tell you whether the couples in the cars are happily married or not. If you see the wife is sitting in with her face watching outside, then they are not very happily married couple, but if the wife is talking to the husband, then she is still waiting for her husband to explain to her why he came back late.. !! Either way, the husband had to lie... have you noticed that?? I never lied to my ex wives, I only told nothing but the truth.. that's why they left me.....!!!???



Talking about women will never end. There are so many nice and bad things written, spoken, filmed etc about women. To me very simple, "Man is to conquer, Women is to surrender "!! I know women may be upset, but let face the truth. But if you are talking about Adam and Eve, then you may be right. Adam was helpless and surrendered with Eve's request of an apple !! That time, there were not much apples then !! But now you will find them everywhere, what's the problems??

One day, my lady friend went for an interview . The interviewer asked her.. So you name is Siti and wanted to apply for the secretary's job. You are now working with bla bla. You were born on the 7th June?? oh.. which year was that?? My lady friend replied .. EVERY YEAR ! See.. why women are so worry and secretive about their age? They always wanted to keep it a secret? To me age is only numbers and you can turn them anywhere you feel like mathematics. If you are 54 you can be can still be naughty, After all , Life began at 50?? why not? Just be young at heart !


Many friends asked me for a receipe to win a woman's heart. I just told them just five.. the rest I want to keep them for myself.


1. You must have a very "thick" face to approach a woman (if you are shy, sorry !!)


2. You must know how to talk ( anything good to her ears)


3. You must have some money in the pocket (sometimes you have to buy them drinks, shopping, etc)


4. You must look honest, responsible, caring and loving (if otherwise... you can pretend la !)


5. You must follow up, follow up and follow up (until she says OK, OK , OK I surrender)



See... so simple steps, some people still overlooked ?? Try the above to few women, you will end up having them ALL !!! But just choose one to be your wife !



"Remember...Life is not always a rose garden, there are torns here and there." Just be happy !

MAN IS TO CONQUER.... WOMEN IS TO SURRENDER....

(Repeat 3 x a day before sleep)


Note

The receipe above is for adults only and with an intention of having a lady to be your faithful wife. Playboys are not encouraged to try the receipe.






Saturday 5 April 2008

Good Bye Kuantan, Hello Kuala Lumpur







I left Kuantan and came back to Kuala Lumpur 3 years ago. To survive, I sold all my house furnitures at RM5,000 far below the total of RM30,000 that I have spent. One of my so called friend followed me. There was no place to stay in KL (hotel will cost unneccesary expenses) but an old friend a "movie producer" offered us to spend the night at his office sleeping on office sofas before we got a rented flat nearby. We had a long discussion, on how to start something and decided to open up a car wash and cleaning service as my producer friend claimed that he had an area for us to start the business. I gave him some money to start moving and to buy the neccessary equiptment. But after waiting for few days, there was no news. I became suspicious, and true enough he has taken the money for his own use, he's actually a flop producers. I had heated arguement, and he promised to pay back my money on instalment. The business didn't even started and I only get half of my money back..

My friend that followed me from Kuantan was depending on me. I have to support his daily meals, ciggaratte and all his needs. I told him to look for jobs but he was really a lazy bump who only eat and sleep everyday and I have to struggle to look for money. Fund was running out, house rent was RM550.00 + RM100 for water & electricity and I can't afford it anymore. It was again Ramadhan month, I told my friend that he must look for the job as I cannot support him anymore. He was upset when I said if he cannot get some money after Hari Raya, he's not allowed to stay with me again. On the eve of Hari Raya, he went back to Kuantan and never returned ! I was alone again... and I felt better of !! . I was lucky, my son, 2 brothers supported me if I run short of money, though a small amount but enough for me to carry on living !

One day, I received a phone call from one of my lady friend who had stayed at my former resort. She was chased off from her rented Sentul Apartment and had no where to go. She wanted to stay with me but not enough money to pay me, I was reluctant but she needed help. I have no choice but to let her moved in. She's a divocee with a 15 years old son. We respect each other and nothing happened. She suggested me to join her working in a college in Mantin as students' facilitator. No basic salary but will be given commission if I can bring students in. We decided to move to Mantin as driving from KL to Mantin was costly. Apartment at Mantin was very cheap, one didn't have to pay for deposit as there was so many empty apartments. It lasted for 2 months as I didn't manage to get student in. How could I survive without a basic salary to cover house rent, my daily expenses?? Food, ciggaratte etc!!!


One day, my old friend a successful Dato (who owns 12 expensive cars, Ferrari, Porche, BMW , Meccedes Jaguar etc) suprisingly called me and wanted to see me. He live in Port Dickson and wanted to drop by at Mantin to meet me on his way back home. So we met and had a long chat. I told him of my problems as I have not met him for 15 years. He offered me a job as Director Of Sales in his advertising office (He had contract with Anti Dadah, and installed bill boards in mosques all over Malaysia) . It sounded so good with "big" position but he can only pay me a basic of RM1,500 a month + commission and invited me to stay in his house. It was a good start for me to survive. I don't have to pay for house rent, meals and transportation as I followed him to work daily from Port Dickson to Shah Alam. We travelled every week to Penang, Johore or Melaka just to enjoy and "released tension" sometimes , in Dato's Porche, CLK or Jaguar or BMW .For the first one month in office, things seemed OK but later Dato's sister whom Dato appointed as one of the Directors began showing her colours. She started pushing me, questioned me for coming late (Dato' comes to office at 11 am and I came with Dato's car) , and getting too close and staying with Dato. I explained to her the situation but she refused to listen. She even had an arguement with his brother because of me. To avoid any ills feelings, I decided to leave. I was jobless again.

Met another old friend, I was invited to stay with him at Ulu Kelang Apartment free of charge, as he had fully paid for one year rent. So I stayed for few months, but I didn't feel comfortable as my friend had so many visitors everyday. They will play card, gambling etc. So I decided to move. With no much fund, I stayed with my son's rented house. A friend that I met at Dato's office left Dato's company and opened up his own advertising company and I was offered a job as Director Of Business Development with small basic salary but with 20% commission as he couldn't afford to pay more at this time. He just wanted to help me SURVIVE !! Thanks Garry ! if you wanted to know more ... look for http://www.orangemediaads.com/ and contact me !!